Yes, Burke is growing up. He's always been "beyond his years" in some ways. He is a very deep thinker and asks so many questions every day. I love this about him and hope that his curiosity for life in general will always be a part of who he is. Part of our nightly bedtime routine is to visit (just the two of us) after his personal prayers. He tells me his favorite things of the day and he usually has a few questions and we visit about whatever is on his mind. Lately he has been asking lots of questions about Santa Claus. Yes, I know that it's July, but for some reason he has had Santa on the brain. He has mentioned several times that he's not sure what to believe because some kids believe in Santa and others believe that it is parents who give the presents. He asked about this again last week and so I finally asked Burke, "Well, what do you want to believe?" I fully expected him to say that he wants to believe in Santa, but his answer sort of surprised me. "I want to believe the truth," he said. I let it be and told him we would continue discussing this another time.On Monday, for Family Home Evening, we discussed Priesthood blessings and talked about fathers' blessings in particular. Rob asked Burke if he would like a father's blessing as he would be starting a new school year the next day and we talked about how that had been a family tradition that we both grew up with. Burke declined the offer and was pretty stubborn about the whole thing. I gave him more background thinking he didn't really understand what it was (and that it wouldn't hurt) and even showed him pictures (paintings) of Christ blessing people when he was on the earth and explained that "giving blessings is something that Jesus established when he was on the earth and Dad has this same priesthood authority today." He refused again and so I told him that he had his agency and could make his own choice on the matter, but that it was disappointing to me that he wouldn't want this special blessing. His words broke my heart when he said, "Mom, I just don't believe it." I've pondered this statement for the past two days and finally sat down with him tonight and told him "the truth" about Santa Claus. I told him that this is a special tradition and that it's fun to believe in the magic of Santa and that he could still pretend to believe and also to never tell other kids (or his younger brothers) that he isn't real. I then told him that the things we have taught him about Heavenly Father and Jesus and His gospel are real and that I know these things to be true with my whole heart. He was pretty quiet and just nodded like he understood. I don't think that I can think of anything more important to me than raising my boys to love the Lord and the truth. Maybe this next Christmas will be extra special with a child old enough to focus on the true meaning of Christmas... I can only hope.
12 comments:
I'll comment on the school part, because the end part about truth is just too touching.
I get teary eyed as I leave the kids too! I'm glad he's enjoying school. I'm glad there are a few years when they think school is cool and love to go.
By the way, Ethan has been obsessed about Christmas lately. I think he figures that because his birthday has passed for the year, Christmas is his only hope for getting any new toys (or Pokemon cards)
In truth, I don't really know what to comment but your post (and phone call the other day) brought me to tears. Burke is such a sweet boy and a thinker. He cracks me up so many times with what's going on in his brain. I think you're an amazing mother and I'm sure that you're talk about the "real" things in life made an impact on him. What a sweet experience to have with your son.
ok, that is a hard one. I always felt bad about the Chistmas, and Santa thing. It always felt like lying, but who wants to burst the bubble? Sooner or later they all come and ask if Santa is real. I alway remind my kids the true meaning of Christmas and bear my testimony of the Savior. All of my kids know that Santa is just for fun, we've made it like a game we try to out believe each other and do lots of winking, because if we spoil the fun there won't be any need for there to be gifts under the tree. Besides my kids were kind of relieved, most of them were afraid of him anyway, they were glad some guy wasn't going to sneak in our house. I'm sure you handles it perfect. He is a lucky boy to have such a sweet mom!
I will try to keep my comment short - this is one subject where my horse is very high.
It has always bothered me to lie to my children about Santa (Easter Bunny is on my list too, BTW). This is the exact reason why - I don't want my children to think I am lying about Jesus and other things that are true. My sister (who thinks completely opposite as me on this) says "I don't think anyone's testimony has ever been shaken by Santa." Burke is proof that it does.
I'm glad Burke is liking school. Is it strange having him gone all day long? I am not looking forward to Whitney's first day. I will be coming over to cry in a month when she starts.
Thanks for sharing.
Your post made me tear up. I found it so touching and I realized I have so much to learn in the next few years. I have always kind of watched you with your boys at church and think you are such a sweet mother. I don't think you could have handled this any better. Thanks for your example.
I remember learning about the first vision in my early Primary years and not believing it a bit. But since then, I have been blessed on so many occasions to have the Spirit confirm that it really did happen.
It is wonderful that he can be so honest with you. You are great parents.
Wow Tamsen! Like others who have commented, I too teared up as I read your post. First of all because I think Burke is such a great kid and I consider myself lucky to be able to interact with him in Primary! His comments always make me smile! He is an AMAZING kid with a very special spirit!
I also think you handled the situation about the blessing and Santa so well! You are obviously in tune with the Spirit!!! Burke is so lucky to have you and Rob as his parents!!!
I cannot believe our kids are old enough to know the truth about Santa. You definitely did the right thing to tell him. He is such a deep thinker, he needs to know things like that.
You did the right thing telling Burke the truth. My 7 year old and 6 year old both know the truth. It has actually made Christmas a lot more fun for us as a family. I don't ever remember believing in Santa and I've never been sorry.
As far as the Priesthood blessing goes, maybe you could try something we do in our family. Every new school year everyone in the family gets a blessing, including babies and mom (who really needs it, trust me!). It is a good way to show the kids the priesthood in action and provides us an opportunity to recognize the Spirit with the kids. Maybe if Burke sees everyone else getting one, he'll want to be included in that special sacred family experience.
Good luck!
What an amazing mom you are! Those were surprising and tricky questions and comments and you handled them so beautifully. I talked to Jason about it quite a bit last night. And what a cutie Burke is!
Boy! Even my girls don't know the truth about Santa! I think Pen "knows", but doesn't want to know.
Burke sure is inquisitive! You were right to tell him the truth about Santa. If my kids ask me directly, I will tell them.
Eh, you already know I'm more than half-heretic, but telling the "truth" isn't always all it's cracked up to be. I think it may have been more useful to talk about the difference between fiction and nonfiction than between truth and lies. Was Jesus lying when he used made-up stories to teach gospel principles?
Anyway, I've always thought that believing in Santa was about more than just one particular fellow in a red suit who sneaks into your house. It's more about a childlike (in a good way) ability to believe in the improbable, even the preposterous. Really, how amazing, improbable, and even preposterous is it that God sent his Son to earth as a tiny, vulnerable baby? Who would grow up to save the world? Why waste time parsing the "truth" when to believe is so miraculous, such a gift?
Read The Polar Express again, and I dare you not to choke up at the end.
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