Merry and bright

I've finally put my finger on it...

Having this baby girl

makes EVERY day feel like Christmas.

Odds and Evens

I am the 4th child in my family of four. Growing up, I always thought that I was the most like my brother (Mark) that is the second born. My sister and other brother (#1 and #3) seemed to be similar to each other as well. Maybe even the fact that #1 and #3 had red Christmas stockings, and #2 and #4 had green stockings was a subtle influence to me. I'm not even talking just looks or height/build here (although it is true), but certain personality traits just seemed to be shared among the "odds" and the "evens."

I can't help but begin to see the same pattern in my own children. Although each one is completely unique and different for many reasons, I am seeing some similarities and will share a few:

My "Odds":
Burke and Tosh are both generally loud. They talk all the time and have a hard time whispering. They are bright and have amazing memories. They were both very happy toddlers and it was always easy to make them smile or laugh. They are also both skinny-skinny (Tosh still wears a 12-month swimming suit at 2 and 1/2, and I kid you not that just last year Burke was able to squeeze into a 6-12 month size Halloween costume. We both laughed so hard we were crying!). Because these guys are both so verbal, I can use logic to reason with them and when I explain a situation or why we shouldn't do something, they generally comply. Burke has always been very helpful with Tosh (he thinks that everything Tosh does is "hysterical"), and they are very good buddies and nice to each other.

My "Evens":

Granted Liv is still a baby, but Hewitt and Liv are "quiet" and also observant. They are able to entertain themselves instead of relying on me to entertain them. They were more solemn babies and cautious of strangers. I'm sure I've mentioned that they have similar coloring and I think Liv will be strawberry-blonde too. They are my "chubby" babies. I swear that Liv gained a few pounds just yesterday...it's like I put her down for a nap and when she woke up she was so much thicker and heavier. Hewitt had the cutest rosy cheeks as a baby and I am so happy that Liv is filling out more too. Hewitt and Liv are also my snugglers - I love it! These two have such a special little bond and love each other so much. I hope that Hewitt will always look out for Liv and protect her like he does now.

Mid-life musings

My Rob turned 35 last week. Still young by most standards - yes, but as a kid I remember thinking that 35 was officially "old." I am only 6 months younger than Rob, so every year I have the six months between our birthdays to get used to the coming age. Surprisingly this "35" mark has been especially thought provoking for me. I mean, although 35 doesn't exactly mean mid-life anymore (most people live well past 70 these days), I am feeling like I have reached the point in my life where I am past my prime physically. And I admit, it's sort of sad in a way.

The much younger me:


Aging is a strange thing. I believe with all of my heart that God's plan for His children is perfect. I think in His wisdom he intended for us to focus on the more important things as we age...the things that are honest and true, and really mean more to put it simply. There is a reason why the physical beauty of youth is intended to fade. Through this process, the focus on outward beauty shifts inward. Infatuation is trumped by a more selfless, unconditional love, and even impulse, risk and thrill-seeking endeavors are often replaced by serenity, consistency and peace.
Aging and wisdom should go hand in hand, but don't always. I think it is really hard in today's age not to buy into the world's idea of beauty to some degree. Don't we all own some sort of face lotion/eye cream to not only keep our skin healthy, but looking as young as possible as well?

Two examples from the media got me thinking this week and I believe they are both relevant to this topic.

1. The Biggest Loser: A wife of one the contestants (Danny) worries that things will change in their marriage as her husband loses dramatic weight. Will he leave her for someone better looking and let's face it, skinny?

2. Tiger (Cheetah) Woods: Rumor has it he started having affairs when his wife was seven months pregnant. Now, that is just wrong on so many levels.

These examples may be extreme cases, but I have to admit to feeling some frustration over my aging and increasingly aching body. Rob and I had a big discussion about this the other night and I admitted something to him,

"I'm sort of glad you are balding. It makes me feel better about my body and the weight I've gained."

Neither one of us is the person we married. And to be honest, I'm glad. We are better people now, even if we don't look quite the same. It's sort of wonderful and like magic that I love him more and more all the time. I'm lucky that he feels the same way.


So here in my 35th year, instead of freaking out that I'm no longer young and cute, I am going to try to focus more on wiser things, and not about the things I can't control. In addition:

I am going to try not to worry so much about the new wrinkles on my forehead/face. They are mostly hidden by my bangs anyway (A ha! The real reason for the haircut).

I am going to embrace my slowing metabolism and be grateful for the opportunity to learn the value of hard work and persistence that is exercise and eating healthy.

Then there's the gray hair. I can't think of any benefit here... maybe an excuse to get out of the house to get my hair done once in a while? (I actually would really like to be white/silver some day. It looks so distinguished I think, but not while I have a baby for Pete's sake!)

And finally, I am going to take my sore back, neck, and knees as a (not always gentle) reminder to slow down and enjoy the ride!