Maybe it's because my house feels like a complete mess (again)...
Maybe it's because two of my kids weren't being nice to each other...
Maybe it's because all I felt like doing was holding/taking a nap with the baby...
Maybe it's because the electric bill was over $600 (and I'm still hot!)...
Maybe it's because there is still so much to fix, replace, and buy for our "new" home and it's all so expensive...
Maybe it's because I don't get enough sleep...
Maybe it's because I'm trying to "ween" myself off of sugar...
Maybe it's because making new friends isn't always easy...
Maybe it's because my hormones are still crazy...
Maybe it's because I have a ton of personal goals that aren't being met...
Maybe it's because the two-yr-old didn't nap and is into EVERYTHING (he "decorated" the banister with the entire contents of my brand new floss, ripped into a box of cereal, pulled out all of the books out of the bookshelf when he got upset--oh wait, that was the 4-yr-old, etc.)...
Maybe it's because I feel alone a lot even though I am surrounded by people...
Maybe it's because I miss my friends...
Maybe it's because I miss my mom...
For whatever reason, I had a good sob today (well multiple sobs, it was just one of those days). It made me wonder, does a woman really need a reason for a good cry? As I waited for Burke's bus this afternoon (and yes, I drive to the bus stop; it was over 110 today), I turned on the radio which is rare, and my favorite Coldplay song happened to be on. I turned up the radio as loud as I could allow myself and tried not to worry about what the neighboring parents were thinking of the hysterical, ugly-crying, half-laughing woman in the "Utah" plated minivan. And for the next three minutes my world seemed wonderful again. My tried and true combo (tears and a little music) was just the right therapy.
17 comments:
Oh, Tams! I am so sorry, but glad you got 3 minutes of therapy at least. I think maybe we are feeling similarly-- I keep wondering if one of these days I'm going to go crazy for real. Give me a call whenever you need to. : )
((HUG)) That made me so sad. I love you!
Oh, man. Moving is hard! I have lived here for three years but I still totally relate to those feelings, especially the feeling lonely part. Hang in there!
((((((((BIG HUG)))))))))) Miss you too. You hang in there!
Cute Tamsen.....that breaks my heart. I can't imagine any of it being easy. Seriously, the thing that scares me the most about possibly one day having another child is that I finally feel like myself and that I can finally handle life (for the most part), and to add moving on top of 4 kids and hormones and more to do than can possibly be done.....well, my heart reaches out to you. I'm so glad you had some good "therepy." It's amazing what a good sob can do. Really. Thinking of you!!!
Aw, Tams! I love you! Hope things start to seem smoother soon.
We miss you too! We will just have to talk more :-) You are always welcome to come to Sugar Land, Texas for a hug and a chat.
The best thing somebody said during all my infertility woes was, "that sure sucks". I thought they captured it well. So, I'll say the same to you. Because it does, and you captured it perfectly.
So sorry, Tam. The lonely part is what I relate to the most, since we've moved so much and making new friends is the most difficult part about it. Cry away! Love you!
Moving is never fun. I am glad Coldplay could be there for you in your hour of need! I've SO been there! Hang in there!
Hi Tamsen! It's been a lot time since we actually talked face to face, but I check your blog every once in a while. I love to hear what you're up to and about your cute family. Your posts are so well written and fun to read. I have always thought you're so fun to talk to, and your posts are the same way. Anyways, I have not just recently moved, but I am living in a old house that is falling apart (literally), have a 6 month old baby and 3 other kids who seem to have recently kicked the teasing each other into high gear, and a 3 year old who has coated her whole buff body in various substances (lotion, face scrub, hair conditioner, baby oil...)about 10 times this week! (not kidding, she does it when I am feeding the baby, and did it 2 times today alone!) After a talk from me, and an apology from her, she promises not to do it again! and again! Well, I can only imagine all you're going through with a move on top of it all. My thoughts & prayers are with you. If you ever find you need an extra boost, I've heard picking up your skirt and doing the "Penny Song" jig works wonders while singing along... It has taken me a really long time to get into the blogging world, but I finally have. I'll send you an invite, if you'd like. Love, Michelle Craig
There is nothing like a good cry to make us feel better, at least for the moment. Thinking about you and hoping that the transition to everything new will feel easier soon. Miss you.
I teared up reading your post and then teared up again reading everyone's comments! You do have some great friends, even if they're not close by. Miss you guys!
oh Tamsen. Like everyone who has already commented...I'm so sorry! Although I can't relate to every thing you mentioned, I've had a hard time dealing with only a couple of those things (a 2 year old who won't stay out of anything and a 4 year old who is tearing things off the walls and throwing things when he is in time out) I can only imagine how hard it would be to deal with those things on top of a move and a new baby and all that goes with it. I hope things get better soon!!! Hang in there! btw I love Coldplay too!!!
When I start feeling sad I try to think of something funny (usually it's something funny Benson's said)... and I just recently bought Dumb and Dumber at a garage sale, cuz that is like the stupidest, funniest movie ever! I think we all get overwhelmed at times, and a good cry releases all the anxiety you've been feeling.
I totally miss you and wish I could have been there for a shoulder to cry on... I still can be over the phone you know :) Love ya! Simone
Soooooo love you! Sorry. I try to schedule good cries. Hilary Weeks is good to cry too. (Hugs & Love)
Tamsen,
I am so sorry! (I wanted to cry too after I read your blog! The heat alone would make me cry.) We love you and miss you too. We think of and pray for your family often. Please feel free to call anytime!
Love & lots of Hugs,
Darla
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